At the end of last week my friend Jim, who teaches tourism and hotel courses here at the school, asked if I wanted to travel with her during the weekend to her friend’s wedding. It was an opportunity I could not pass up, so we left school on Friday afternoon and caught a bus southbound to Phattalung. Since it was the beginning of the weekend, all the buses were very full, so we ended up standing and then sharing a seat for the first couple of hours. Each bus in independently owned, but they all service the same public bus stations. As a result, each bus has a unique… atmosphere. Some have glittery things and bright colorful décor, most have televisions on which we watch very loud Thai music videos, and all have a shrine of sorts with flowers and talismans that are common at temples, which I think is for good luck and protection on the road. This picture is just an example and not a very outrageous one.
We traveled about 6 hours until we finally reached Jim’s friend’s family house. As soon as we stepped off the bus I caught a whiff of a familiar smell and knew we were on a pig farm. Gung (pronounced “goong”), the woman who was getting married grew up on her family’s small farm, where I found myself quite comfortable having spent summer’s on my father’s pig farm.
We were all up by
I was asked to help with the flower arrangements that needed to be prepared. I assisted a man who was very skilled at arranging flowers while a kitten took a nap in my lap. Then I made my own arrangements that ended up being placed on the family’s house shrine!
There was much work being done but everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves as well. That night I found a quiet spot to read and study, and a cute group of girls found me and used my Thai study book in reverse to practice their English, which was fun for all of us. I also spent that night in a room with 5 other people including the bride, which ultimately turned into a slumber/bachelorette party.
Sunday morning also started early. I was up before
A long train of women bearing beautifully wrapped gifts were welcomed into the house followed by the groom, who was ceremoniously welcomed by Gung’s family. After all the gifts had been presented, Gung was fetched from her room by an other female family member and led downstairs by a handkerchief.
She sat with the groom and together made offerings to each other’s parents. Then the couple exchanged rings and the groom gave Gung two beautiful gold necklaces and a bracelet as well. Following the first ceremony, Gung returned to her room, where a few of us gathered and touched up her outfit.
I could tell that something was going to happen but wasn’t sure what, and then there was a nock at the door. When it was unlocked, the groom entered and joined Gung on the bed where they sat with their heads touching while listening to the council of an old man who was possibly an uncle. Following that ceremony, the couple were officially married and returned downstairs together.
Downstairs we found that 5 monks had joined the wedding and were sitting all along one wall. Gung and her husband made several initial offerings of incense, then the monks began their ceremonious blessing. Following the first chant, water that had been ritually prepared with candle wax during the chant was cast over the couple along with rose and marigold petals. There was a closing chant and the couple made many offerings of food to the monks.
The final ceremony, during which the couple took their seats behind two beautiful stands, progressed immediately after the monks exited. First, 2 woven rings of white yarn that were connected by a white strand were place on each of the newly-wed’s heads to connect them. Then, three dots of oil were placed on their foreheads by the same man who offered council on the bed. Following that, members of each family, friends, and guests individually pored water mixed with the rose and marigold petals from a large shell onto the husband’s and then Gung’s hands while offering words of blessing and congratulations as well as gifts of money.
After that we all took a break while Gung and her husband changed clothes. Then we headed outside where the party was already getting started. There was much food and many happy people. As the evening progressed, the karaoke stage heated up, Gung started challenging us to chugging contests of beer, and we all started dancing, while a group of folks started up a game of gambling. It was a late night, but enjoyable, and I slept out on the porch with a bunch of other friends.
The next morning Jim and I caught a bus back to Bangsak. In addition to the experience of being at a Thai wedding, the weekend was also an opportunity to work on the Thai that I know so far, since not many people at the wedding spoke English. When I returned home, I found that my basil and tomato plants had already sprouted… a benefit of warm humid weather!
At school I was shocked to find out that a matayom 3 student at the school had been found dead in the forest. Aat was a very smart and sweet boy so everyone was very confused about his death. He had drowned in a shallow pool of water and did not have any signs of having fallen or been in a fight. As a result, many at the school believe that his death was caused by a ghost. On Wednesday, most of the teachers and many of the older students went to a wat in Ku Kak, the next town to the south for his funeral ceremony. Unlike the wedding, where I was one of maybe 8 other photographers trying to catch every event from every angle, I did not take any pictures at the funeral out of respect, despite many of the family members doing so. I have found a few links to pictures on-line that I think show Thai funerals that are similar to the one performed for the boy. http://www.thai-blogs.com/media/funeral_6.jpg
http://static-p3.fotolia.com/jpg/00/01/59/42/400_F_1594291_lCw6cPDWoymRjOgL9oylvaF3C0Ay8d.jpg
http://image59.webshots.com/59/0/33/30/2303033300092835377CoZbLc_fs.jpg
There was a silver casket laden with flowers and lights near a stand covered with flowers where a picture of Aat had been placed. We each made our offering of incense then sat or kneeled as the monks performed their blessing ritual and the family made generous offerings to the monks. Following that ceremony, we followed the casket as it was driven to the wat’s crematorium, where we each placed a paper flower into the burning chamber before the casket was pushed in and the fire was started. It was a very sad event, but also one with many family and friends sharing good food and what seemed like enjoyable conversation.
I hope you are all happy and healthy wherever you are in the world.
T.
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